Home » IdiocyFail » How not to go to the zoo (a step-by-step guide)

How not to go to the zoo (a step-by-step guide)

We went to the zoo today.  In Georgia, in July, with an infant.  Below is a list I’ve compiled of things we did wrong.

1. Get up at 6:30am.  Show up to the zoo five hours and three stops later.   Just catching the afternoon sun.

2. Disregard whether everyone in their party is dressed appropriately for 90+ degree weather, including yourself wearing jeans.

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Yeah, the fact that they were white did not help anything at all.

3. Stuff everything you might need at the zoo in the stroller basket – important things like, diapers, a bottle, sunscreen, toys, wallet, etc.  Stuff it so full you cannot retrieve anything from said basket.

5. Get everyone’s tickets and promptly discard the free, extra helpful zoo map in favor of the vaguely pointy signs posted sporadically around the zoo.

4. Buy everyone a bottle of water upon entering the zoo at $3.00 a piece even though you can bring your own free water from home.  With Ice.  Whatever, nothing else would fit in the stroller basket anyway.

5. Dab sweat off the baby and search for a semi-private place to nurse him.  Fail and pull boob out in the ape exhibit because hey at least it’s cool in there.

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I sat right next to Ivanal and fed Ike just as a group of elementary school aged kids crowded the window.

6. Realize baby is getting a little overheated, probably like an hour ago, and change into the white onesie packed for just this instance.  DO NOT get out the sunscreen while unpacking overstuffed under stroller basket now, because there will be nothing to unpack in 5 minutes when baby is transferred from the extra-shady stroller to the carrier due to extended protests.

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Extra-Shady stroller pictured here, except the foot everything is well protected, oops.

7. Unpack overstuffed under stroller basket NOW, because the baby is now in the carrier due to extended protests, and feet/legs/head are hanging out in direct sunlight and OMG SUNBLOCK HURRY!

So, what’s the verdict on Ike’s first trip to the Zoo?  A Roaring Success of course!  Couldn’t you tell?

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We all had a blast.  It was hot, yeah I probably should learn a few lessons for next time (lol like I’m ever going back), yeah I sort of forgot how Zoo’s smell like um animals.  But it was a great day and a great time was had by all.  See?

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“Ike! Look at the elephant!”

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“Huh? Mah blankit?”

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“Ike! Look giraffes!”

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“W
hut daddy?  Look away from the giraffes?”

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“ZOMG IKE! Look at the most adorable panda bear cubs! Ike?”

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“Zzzzzzz”

Obviously Ike enjoyed the zoo most of all.   And these two were just sort of along for the ride.  Ha!

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Oh and also, how great does my husband look in his super-dad uniform complete with hugemongous camera to capture all of these fantastic memories.

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One thought on “How not to go to the zoo (a step-by-step guide)

  1. Pingback: San Diego Zoo | insearchofthe25thhour

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