Home » Mothering » Is it all Coming to an End?

Is it all Coming to an End?

Anyone out there who knows me, like in real life, knows I’ve been complaining and whining about the hassle of nursing/breastfeeding for several months now.  And even before that, I was very much looking forward to leaving pumping and expressing milk at work when Ike turned one.  I want to be done with nursing. I want to have wine with dinner.  I want to retire the clickable nursing bras to the attic.  I’m so over it.

Well, Ike seems to be starting to wean. And I am devastated.  I know what I said.  And I think I meant it, I really do want to be done.  But the actually finishing makes me sad.  This wonderful roller coaster ride of a journey may be coming to an end.

the end

Ike’s totally fine going to bed with a bottle of cow’s milk.  He sleeps exactly the same.  He will accept a bottle instead when he wakes up during the night (yes that still happens).  He’s pretty much indifferent and I think that I have been unconsciously continuing despite him.  There’s been only once in the past two or so weeks that he differentiated to me that he would prefer to nurse over taking a bottle at bed time.  I obliged with no hesitation, but I think I could have urged him on back to the bottle with little resistance.  And this morning he asked for milk, and maybe he would have accepted a bottle, but at 4:45am, I’m thinking convenience.

For a while I wanted to keep going until he started school.  But I figure now is as good of time as any.  Especially since I don’t intend to continue very far into him beginning school.

Honestly, I am not sure what I am waiting for.  I did want this to happen.  I wanted to stop, but I also wanted him to want to stop.  Both seem to be happening, so why I am having so much trouble letting go?


3 thoughts on “Is it all Coming to an End?

  1. The last time we nursed (about a month ago) I came back to bed at 3AM after E screamed at me in rejection – and I cried and cried and sobbed…I wasn’t ready, but he was. I continued pumping, sort of, but only once a day. Today, I’m wearing a non-clickable bra. Hugs to you friend! It’s not easy.

  2. I didn’t feel the least bit of sorrow when mine was done weaning. Of course he was 2 1/2 so maybe we were both just ready to move on. I worried something was wrong with me that I didn’t feel sad as everyone said I would. Nursing was great and wonderful, but so is snuggling on the couch fully clothed, ha ha!

    Saw this on Mumbo Monday

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