The Struggle is Real

My first week back to work was last week.  I remembered feeling so painfully sad to have left Ike when I went back to work from my first maternity leave.  And I felt that same pain of separation when I had to leave Eleanor.  I also remember feeling anxious about pumping at work, but I felt prepared this time.  I have learned so much more about breastfeeding since Ike was a newborn.  I am an old pro…

The feeling I didn’t remember when I went back to work last time is overwhelmed! 

13177567_10156942325050010_68320548523414701_n

There’s work.  Obviously there’s work to be done, I have returned to WORK!
Then there’s also all the work that didn’t get done before the baby came.  Because obviously that just sat around the whole time I was on leave and suddenly needed to be dealt with the moment I returned.

There’s mornings.  There is so much more to deal with in the mornings now.  Ike stayed home with my mother his first year, so I didn’t have to do anything or take him anywhere, and I came home and the laundry was done.  Now suddenly there’s toddler bags to be packed and bottles to be made (washed AND made) and blankets to launder.  And all that stuff plus my work stuff plus the pumping stuff PLUS the two children have to make it in the car before we can even begin our day.  Oh and they both probably need to eat first too.

There’s pumping. Three times a day at work.  Make milk tea every time I pump, because am not pumping as much as she drinks.  Push pumping session because meeting has just been scheduled.  Don’t forget the tea!  Go back into the building and get the milk you forgot in the fridge.  Lol pumping was the one thing I thought I was prepared for.  I have not yet forgotten any of the parts or supplies I need…I am sure that will happen next week now that I’ve put it out there.

Then there’s evenings.  Have to leave work by 4:30, pickup children, listen to the little one scream all the way home.  Get home.  Calm baby.  Change toddler from underwear to pull-up.  Convince him to go potty. Feed the baby.  Make dinner.  Bathe.  Bedtimes.  Dishes.  Laundry.  Bottles.   Lunch.  OMG it’s 11pm.

Wake up at 5am and start again.

It’s overwhelming and discouraging because most of the time I feel like I am failing at all of it.  But then I see these faces, and they are just fine.  We are all just fine.

 

 

Advertisements

When Life Gives You Lemons

Drop a bomb new visual album called Lemonade and watch the world erupt!  It seems that all my Atlanta friends were at the Lemonade concert at the Georgia Dome on Sunday night. Me? Haha of course not.  I have two kids and a mortgage to deal with.

tumblr_inline_o6cyoceOjp1tdhm98_540
I heard she walked on water… I believe it.  You know what they say about a woman scorned…

I did however, spring for the digital album on AmazonPrime.  $17.99!!! I haven’t paid for a single album at that price in a decade!  All because I have Spotify and I don’t know what a Tidal is… All for the sole purpose of joining in the conversation re: Who is Becky with the good hair?

Becky-With-the-Good-Hair-Full-House
I mean she did look good on Fuller House… Just sayin Jay-Z…

While shopping this weekend for new work clothes (in between sizes thank you baby Eleanor), I tried on the most beautiful Rachel Roy dress.  But I just could not bring myself to purchase it.  I mean, she could be a potential home wrecker to what appears to general public to be the most perfectly inspiring power couple in history.  Maybe. Possibly.  Who is she again?

beyonce-jay-z-meme-1461673024-herowidev4-0

tumblr_o66xj0UXC61qfjfoyo1_500
She is a threat to Sasha Fierce, she better watch out for the Beyhive.

How crazy is that? I do not know these people.  I probably would not have even noticed the dress is by Rachel Roy in the first place… I thought she was the enthusiastic lady who likes to make dinner in less than a half an hour anyways.  And what’s more, what business is it of mine what these three people whom I do not know are up to in their personal life?  AND the dress was cute, it fit, AND IT WAS ON SALE!  Beyonce you got me all messed up girl.

Cg2NEf6UYAAceaN
Yes.  Yes I do.  And I got your back girl! Me and like two million others! Do what you need to do!

This is the world I live it though.  Guess I’ll go sip some lemonade and read about what the Kardashians are up to these days.

tumblr_o663jkupQz1stvwsyo1_500

Eleanor 2 Months

Eleanor started school today.  Well, technically it’s called a school, but her “classroom” is very much a day care.  Complete with cribs, high chairs, and soft play toys for the tiniest of hands.  Nevertheless, it feels like, she aged months just over the 8 hours she was there.

610_6687

Eleanor Two Months:

Weight. 9 pounds 13 oz

Legnth. 21.5 inches

Diaper Size. 1!

Clothing Size. 0-3 months

Likes.

  • Nursing or bottles depending on her mood.
  • Swaddling
  • Butterfly kisses
  • Mirrors

Dislikes

  • Being in the car
  • Getting dressed
  • Getting undressed
  • Being woken up

Firsts

  • Smiles!
  • Slept through the night!  Once…  What?!

Fears

  • Her big brother

This is Eleanor’s face just about every time Ike comes near her.

I guess that is what life is like when you weigh less than 10 pounds and your big brother is also known as Hurricane Ike.

610_6649